just a man in the house.
i've been thinking about my dad a lot more recently. i'm not quite sure why. i often find that he fills my mind at the worst times. i wonder where we would have been if we never fell out. i wonder what i would've been like if he treated me better. if he was a dad my dad and not just a man in the house. my childhood consisted much of begging. like a dog under the dinner table i hoped for a treat and more often than not i only received crumbs. i hoped my dad would treat me like i meant something. and some days he did. other days i felt nonexistent. and now thinking about it i spent all my time hoping i would get kidnapped on the way home or that maybe i'd get hit by a car something bad anything enough to make my dad care enough for him to be my dad. yet as i got older and i was in the hospital one too many times my dad had still never shown up. but i couldn't even be angry. my mom always told me he was out of town or he really couldn't make it in. always an excu...