quiet confession
here i sit face to face with my therapist once again telling her things didn’t work out the way I thought. though when I sit here this time around i remain unbothered until she asks about my dad. I have not worked through that. I haven’t accepted the lack of him just cant say I’ve ignored it. I get drunk and bring him up. I fall for men with the same habits. I look for him everywhere except the source. do i want love? or am I trying to prove im lovable? my mom tells me I am my best without someone. but I find I fall for the avoidants. I fall for the push and pull something I need to prove myself to. and I know that. I don’t talk fully about my dad. or the situation we ended on. I can write and write but its up to you to read. I wont tell you or beg you to listen. it feels like asking someone to care. but therapy knows it all. so she doesn’t need to ask every action or choice I make leads back to him he stains everything like blood on a hardwood floor. spreadin...