love love love

 my favorite feeling is love

it’s beautiful

it’s amazing

and it aches

but there is nothing more wonderful than to love

and love and love and love. 

so i love to love

even when i have to pull my car over, as i can no longer drive with this many tears in my eyes.

i love to love

even when my head begins to pound and i can’t remember how to breath.

i love to love

even with my face stained red and my eyes puffy

and yet somehow love makes life bearable. 

it’s painful

but it makes me feel alive. 

it makes me feel more than i’ve ever felt before. 

and i want to love with all my being.

i will cling to the pieces of people after they’ve left

in hopes they still feel my love if no one else’s.

i will still add songs to the playlist i’ve made for you even as the months go by.

i will still check your socials and see how you are even if we no longer follow one another.

i will still wish you happy birthday

but sometimes only in my mind

because it’s still written on my calendar.

i will wear the anklet you gave me until it breaks

and even then, i’ll fix it just to wear it again.

i would love you as simply as watching the sunset

and as difficult as counting the stars

i would love you

i will still love you even if you’ve broken my heart and stomped on it

i will still love you if you scream in my face

i will still love you if you leave

and i will still love people even if they will never love me. 

i will love so much that i let out cries like a wounded animal.

i will love so much you will never feel unloved again

because if nothing else matters, love does.

and maybe it makes your existence easier.

so i live for love.

i hope for the day i come home

to a person who loves me just the same.

to someone who was too scared to take their stuffed animals off their bed incase they got sad.

to someone who chooses love instead of anger

to someone who always forgives.

to someone who loves my bruised heart.

i want to grocery shop together.

i want to brush our teeth and make faces in the mirror at one another.

i want to travel with you.

i want to wake up with you next to me.

to open the blinds and let the sun shine in

to hold a cup of tea that warms my hands

as we sit outside to admire our life

and hear the birds chirp

and see the morning dew covering the spiderwebs

if it’s only this universe we have

i want to love you as much as i can

and i want someone to love with

i want someone to appreciate my love

even when it’s too much

even when it’s not soft enough

not tender enough

when it’s overwhelming

i want to be loved vulnerably

i want to see the beauty in mundane things with you

and maybe i was born to give more love than id ever receive.

i’ve known no love

and i’ve known sadness

so it has made me kind

i want to be the person in your life that would never hurt.

and maybe i love so hard in hopes it will make up for the love i lacked at times

maybe it will stitch my wounds

and maybe you’ll never leave.

i often wonder how i continue to live

after loss

but i know now its because i only love

you can leave

and i will let you walk away with ease

but i will love you just the same.

because i can’t beg anyone to stay

nor do i want to

yet if you asked, id leave the entire world behind for you.

and how lucky i am to have ever been loved by you.

so i will look for you every chance i get

because there will always be something to remind me of you.

and there will always be something of you i miss loving.

every piece of me loves every part of you. 

-o