girls we both know

unfuckable

unloveable 

untouchable

well.

touchable

but not in the way you hope for

not the kind of touch like an actual meaningful hug

not the kind of touch younger me craves

the kind she begs for

instead i'll feel them taking my shirt off

to look at my tits

not my face

i'll feel their hand slip down my shorts

and the movie hasn't even started.

do i not look the part?

am i not deserving of someone who just wants my company?

or is it just my body?

is that all i am?

and when a boy realizes you may like him

when he realizes you may actually enjoy his company

that there isn't any game for him to play anymore

that you aren't hard to get.

all of a sudden

you're hard to want. 

and you never really liked him

like really liked him

yet the attention got you hooked.

sure his tongue is down your throat

but you can hear coraline in the background cause he said he'd watch it with you

cause he remembered it's your favorite.

sure he only hangs out after the sun goes down

but at least he took you to dinner.

yeah he told you he would never date you

but you wouldn't date him either.

but you meet his parents

you make friends with his sisters

meet his friends

and then a drop off.

i never really liked him

but it hurts a bit when you scroll down to see 

opened 4hrs ago.

cool. 

he never really even liked me.

so it probably hurt a bit to scroll down and see

read 2 hrs ago.

yet he decided to make a big deal of it.

though it's only a taste of his own medicine.

"don't leave my ass on read"

"but it's okay when you do?"

"just don't"

"you leave me on read??"

"i know."

i never really even liked him.

and now i truly don't.

i realize i like the attention

i like the back rubbing

i like the kissing

i like it all

well not all.

but i could get that from someone who actually cared.

instead of someone who probably has girls to see later.

including girls i know. 

-o